Pathologically delusional member of the NBC brain trust, Irv Shart, has made his boldest move yet—in his words, “blowing up the concept of the network news as we know it, with a giant stick of DYN-O-MITE, J.J. from Good Times.”  “J.J., with his nonstop clowning, his complete lack of any kind of judgement or intelligence, not to mention his instantly recognizable catchphrase, makes him the perfect choice to head up our flagship news broadcast.” Mr. Shart went on to say, “Look, the news is just too freakin’ depressing. There’s always a good belly laugh somewhere amid all the carnage and devastation and J.J is just the man to find it.” Mr. Shart also named Bookman as Chief White House correspondent and Sweet Daddy as Middle East correspondent.

Marginally competent NBC honcho Irv Shart found himself in a tizzy—the mother of all tizzies, in fact, over the Brian Williams crisis. “Sure, we could do the expected and throw Brian under the bus. But then it came to me….. let’s embrace our total lack of credibility. Let’s completely obliterate whatever’s left of the public’s trust. It’s a fresh new concept—it goes Fox one better. We report, you decide if Brian pulled it out of his ass or not. Kinda fun, right?”

In a bid to capitalize on baby boomer nostalgia, Cialis is now available in a form that not only gives middle-aged men a way to recapture fond childhood memories, it allows them to sport wood at the drop of a hat. The latest TV spot will portray Fred and Wilma sitting in two bathtubs side by side in the middle of nowhere for no apparent reason.