For Tianiqua Thomas, it was supposed to be just an ordinary visit to the gynecologist. “There I was, I had just put my feet up in the stirrups, and guess who pops into the examination room. You got it, Mr. Kanye West himself. And he goes, “Hey y’all I don’t mean no disrespect, but…and then he starts talkin some crazyass bulls— about his wife’s stuff bein’ prettier than mine. That she deserves to win an award for her stuff. Can you believe that? Let’s face it, the man is one crazy mothereffer.”
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February 10th, 2015
March 4th, 2014
“There was a time when Ms. Child was hitting the sauce pretty good,” said colleague Jacques Tootite. “And I don’t mean the bechamel sauce either.” At a dinner party at her home one evening, she and four dining companions managed to polish off ten bottles of a vintage Cabernet. In a drunken frenzy, Ms. Child dashed into her kitchen and embarked on a wild night of culinary experimentation that lasted until the wee hours. The sickening results were jotted down longhand on the back of an electric bill which was discovered behind her 1973 avocado green refrigerator. Found there are such truly vile concoctions as Anus of Lamb, Mule Turd a L’Orange, Chicken Fried Lint and Asparagus Filled Jelly Doughnuts. “These were never meant to see the light of day, not to mention a serving plate,” said Monsieur Tootite,”Well… maybe at Applebee’s”. February 16th, 2014
Suspected of Engaging in Three Way with Taco Bell Chihuahua January 15th, 2014
Enticed into extending the Harry Potter series, Ms. Rowling seems to be having a difficult time meeting the high standards of her previous work. “It feels as if I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel and beating a dead horse simultaneously”. She’s agreed to deliver six more books over the next decade. Sources tell us we can look forward to such titles as “Harry Potter and the Obnoxious Telemarketer” and “Harry Potter and the Chatty Proctologist”. |
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